themundanemusingsofme

general ramblings from a wannabe triathlete, confirmed foodie, and nutrition nerd

Do you know what time it is? A cautionary tale…

on June 18, 2012

This is aimed at men, although in the interests of equality – women, listen up also. 

If your beloved should happen to utter the question ‘do you know what time it is?’ there are three possible reasons. 

1. They genuinely don’t know what time it is.

Correct response – tell them the time.

2. They are seeking intellectual stimulation and the question is a mere ruse to draw you into a discussion of neuroscience, philosophy, temporal perception and the theory of relativity

Correct response – “In the grand scheme of space, reality and relativity, does anyone really know what time it is?”

WARNING

If you incorrectly interpret the loaded question ‘do you know what time it is?’ in favour of option 2, when in fact you are late, you run the risk of appearing both a pretentious twit and also infuriating the question-asker. If you are very, very late, do this at your peril…

3. They know perfectly well what time it is and are insinuating that you do not. This means that you are late and quite probably in trouble. 

Correct response –

For mild/moderate lateness:

Step 1. Look mildly puzzled and say “is it?!” with a touch of incredulity when told the time. More likely than not this response will be met with pursed lips and a raised eyebrow, thus:

Do you seriously expect me to believe that?

 

If you’re lucky, no more will be said. If you’re not lucky, proceed to the next step.

For moderate/severe lateness:

Step 2. Grovel. Mightily and with passion.

 

If – and this is for the purposes of illustration only (*ahem*) – you happen to be my husband and have stayed up until 3am playing on the computer, you respond with the mildly puzzled “it is?!” it would probably have been more plausible if you had not been sitting beneath, and facing, the clock. ..

 

 

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